Divorce Better

What does the Conscious Family mediation process look like?

A roadmap for a typical case is described in the table at the bottom of this page, although how many sessions are required is dependent on your specific case. Every divorce or legal separation is unique and not all divorces require the steps described below.

Often the process is begun before anything is filed with the court, which allows for as much or as little time as is needed to work through all the issues, without court deadlines dictating the timeline. In many cases, a comprehensive settlement is drawn up and signed, and then all paperwork is filed with the court at the same time. The court then must review the settlement and approve it. Colorado courts must wait a mandatory 90 days before it can issue a "decree" of divorce or legal separation. If the spouses have minor children and no attorneys of record on each side, the parties must appear in court for a "non-contested" hearing, to make sure the court is convinced they understand all the issues. If the court has questions about the settlement, it will ask the parties at this hearing.

If the parties have filed with the court, we work with you to meet all court deadlines and meet as often as appropriate to keep things moving forward to settlement.

A typical timeline for mediation can be found here.

What are the Conscious Family "Rules of Engagement?"

The divorce or legal separation process is much smoother when people commit to certain ways of being. We ask people who work with us to review and attempt to abide by our "Rules of Engagement" when interacting with their spouse in any mediation or negotiation setting. Doing so can help you achieve more efficient results, reduce the length of time required, and transition more gracefully through whatever process is occurring.

How long do Conscious Family mediation sessions last?

Mediation sessions are reserved in 3 hour blocks, but last only as long as necessary.

How does a retainer work?

A "retainer" represents funds we ask clients to place into a trust account if more than one mediation session is anticipated. This money is subject to strict ethical rules governing all attorneys, and any remaining balance is returned to you at the end of our work together.

We request enough retainer to cover the anticipated costs of mediation in a given month. Our standard retainer assumes mediation sessions every other week. More is requested if additional sessions are scheduled or if we are asked to contract a financial expert to assist.

How is Conscious Family mediation related to “Collaborative Divorce?”

Conscious Family mediation is a collaborative process and shares many characteristics of the formal “Collaborative Divorce” process, including:

• Parties and professionals compose a team;
• Team agrees to a set of clear principles and guidelines;
• Out-of-court resolution reached through a series of settlement meetings; and
• Process is holistic, and focused on seeking solutions in the best interests of the family as a whole, versus focusing primarily on the legal rights of the spouses.

The biggest differences are:

• Conscious Family mediation necessarily employs a team of the spouses and only one professional: an Attorney-Mediator (although in many cases a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) is worthwhile). In contrast, a formal Collaborative team entails lawyers on each side in addition to a facilitator and financial neutral.
• While Collaborative attorneys cannot take your case to a judge, any attorneys a spouse consults during the Conscious Divorce process are able to represent that spouse in court if necessary.

Your Conscious Family team is more nimble and cost-effective than a team of four professionals who must all be paid separately. The Attorney-Mediator usually provides enough neutral information about the legal landscape for the parties to understand and finalize a settlement, but parties can consult independent attorneys at any time and are encouraged to have any settlement reviewd by counsel.

Our mediators recognize situations where the addition of other professionals would be useful and cost-effective, and make recommendations for your consideration. For examples, read on.

What if I need more information about my legal position?

During the Conscious Family mediation process, people sometimes require individual legal advisement. In that event we refer each spouse to respected family attorneys who can be trusted to not escalate conflict unnecessarily.

We always recommend getting any final settlement reviewed by independent counsel.

What if I don’t know, or don’t believe my spouse knows, what is best for the children?

Under some circumstances, parents will be referred to a child expert for a one-time consult or ongoing counseling to help clarify a child’s or children’s best interests.

Do you offer divorce mediation services everywhere in Colorado?

Yes, we are here to help no matter where you may be located in Colorado. We offer sessions by zoom if you are unable to or prefer not to come to our offices.

What if I’m concerned my spouse is hiding or will hide money?

In Colorado, there is a 5-year lookback during which a case can be re-opened if it is discovered that a spouse misrepresented or failed to disclose assets.

A CDFA (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst) or forensic accountant can be engaged at any time to do a thorough review of transaction records to ensure all financial issues are properly addressed.

What if we already have an agreement mostly in place?

Agreements reached prior to mediation are often a good starting point for a full legal settlement. However, it is important to note that often preliminary agreements require substantial "fleshing out" and detail work, and often are not comprehensive or functional because they don't take into consideration the things most non-lawyers don't know to address properly.

Can we prepare our own court forms?

While we welcome clients bringing in draft court forms, we are "full service" mediation firm, meaning that we prepare (or review) all final court pleadings for client review and signature. While it sometimes seems a cost-saving measure to do the legwork yourself, our experience is that it often takes us more time to review and fix problems in court forms prepared by clients.

If you just need procedural help finding and filling out court forms, and don't need guidance or mediation concerning the substantive issues of your settlement agreement, we may be able to assist with paralegal support only, at a lower cost.

Will you file our court documents for us?

As mediators, we do not represent either spouse or both spouses together. This means that we can't file anything with the court on your behalf.

After helping you prepare the necessary court forms, we provide you with clear written instructions on where to go, when, and how much it will cost to get your case processed by a court in Colorado.

What if my spouse is unwilling to mediate?

In situations where mediation is not suitable, or your spouse refuses to try mediation, Conscious Family lawyers are available to advise or represent you.

What if I'm not sure whether to proceed with divorce?

A "Clarity Session" is a special opportunity to meet (as a couple or individually) with a Conscious Family™ attorney/mediator, at a reduced rate. This session can be useful to arrive at an understanding of the differences between divorce, legal separation, post-nuptial agreements, and other options. Couples seeking to avoid separation can explore the possibility of Relationship Mediation.

Please note: a Clarity Session is informational only, and is not mediation. Couples who are clear that they need legal mediation should schedule a mediation consultation.

Do you offer a safe space to communicate to my spouse my desire to explore divorce?

A "Clarity Session" is a special opportunity to meet (as a couple or individually) with a Conscious Family™ attorney/mediator, at a reduced rate. This session can be a facilitated dialogue with expert guidance and information at hand as needed. Couples seeking to avoid separation can explore the possibility of Relationship Mediation.

Please note: a Clarity Session is informational only, and is not mediation. Couples who are clear that they need legal mediation should schedule a mediation consultation.

Does the mediator have a fiduciary responsibility to ensure a fair and equal outcome?

The most direct answer is no. The mediator does not have a fiduciary responsiblity to ensure some objective fairness of outcome. The role of the mediator is to be neutral and facilitate a fair process, in which all parties have equal ability to negotiate fairly and have equal ability to access information.

By engaging in mediation, parties take charge of their situation and take responsibility for deciding for themselves, rather than leaving it up to a judge or other decision-maker, what a fair outcome should be.

Something we recommend throughout the mediation process is to consult with your own attorney, who can advise and counsel you on your best interests, and help you feel clear that you are making a good bargain.

Are we good candidates for mediation?

Mediation can be effective even when there has been a breakdown in trust, or in the presence of strong feelings of hurt, betrayal, or differing values and goals.

However, some circumstances can make mediation difficult. If you answer "No" to more than a few of the following questions, mediation may not be appropriate for your case.

• Will you both make full and honest disclosure of finances through the process?
• Can you both commit to staying focused on the future, and avoid a battleground mentality?
• Can you both respect each other as individuals, even if you disagree?
• Are you both capable of putting your children’s interests ahead of other possible agenda items?
• Are you both mentally healthy (i.e., free of a clinical personality disorder or severe mental health disorder such as major depression)?
• Are you both free of serious addiction to alcohol or other drugs?

If you have questions about whether your case is a good fit for mediation, schedule a free introduction call to discuss your situation with us.

What does Conscious Family attorney representation look like?

You may hire an attorney before filing for divorce, or anytime thereafter.

In your initial session with a Conscious Family attorney, you will determine, discuss, and refine your highest goals and the strategy to reach them. Conscious Family attorneys are committed to helping you reach your goals while keeping fees to a minimum, in order to preserve your family's overall resources.

Every divorce is unique. The court cannot issue a decree for 91 days after filing a Petition. We work with you to meet all court deadlines and meet as often as appropriate to keep things moving forward. Most divorces take between 3 and 6 months from time of filing to final decree.

Conscious Family attorneys seek to collaborate and find win-win solutions, because out-of-court settlements allow creative and tailored resolutions. We identify areas of true contention, and limit resource-spending to resolving those issues. Conscious Family attorneys are mindful about the emotional impact on people whenever lawyers enter a dispute, and employ non-violent and non-defensive communication in seeking mature resolution.

If negotiations fail and trial before a judge is unavoidable, we seamlessly transition you to a highly skilled trial lawyer who can ensure that you will be given the highest considerations afforded by our justice system, to arrive at clean and clear resolution in court.

What are "unbundled" legal services?

Conventional legal representation means your attorney has ethical responsibilities to provide competent and diligent representation, which includes gathering facts, advising you as client, researching the law, drafting correspondence and documents, negotiating with the other side, and representing the client in court.

Unbundled legal services affords the attorney and the client flexibility to contract for something less than the full scope of legal services. The limited scope of representation must be reasonable under the circumstances, because the attorney’s ethical duties to the client apply only to the particular scope of issues and representation the attorney and the client have agreed upon.

We provide unbundled services to meet the needs of clients under a variety of circumstances. We can advise clients “in the background” or appear at a hearing without taking on the full ethical responsibility to monitor and oversee every aspect of the case. This form of representation may be particularly appropriate in certain circumstances. Talk to us to see if unbundled services may be right in your case.

What if I don’t know, or don’t believe my spouse knows, what is best for the children?

Under some circumstances, parents will be referred to a child expert for a one-time consult or ongoing counseling to help clarify a child’s best interests.

What if I'm not sure whether to proceed with divorce?

A "Clarity Session" is a special opportunity to meet (as a couple or individually) with a Conscious Family™ attorney/mediator, at a reduced rate. This session can be useful to arrive at an understanding of the differences between divorce, legal separation, post-nuptial agreements, and other options. Couples seeking to avoid separation can explore the possibility of Relationship Mediation.

Please note: a Clarity Session is informational only, and is not mediation. Couples who are clear that they need legal mediation should schedule a mediation consultation.

How does a retainer work?

A "retainer" represents funds we ask clients to place into a trust account if ongoing work is anticipated. This money is subject to strict ethical rules governing all attorneys, and any remaining balance is returned to you at the end of our engagement.

What if we have financial assets?

In many cases, we will recommend using one of our contract Certified Divorce Financial Analysts (CDFA) to develop both settlement and trial positions. This financial expert can assist in developing creative, win-win settlement scenarios, maximizing resources, budgeting, and addressing complex tax or estate planning issues, such as buying/selling real estate during the divorce process.

What if I’m concerned my spouse is hiding or will hide money?

In cases where there are more than a few financial assets, we will recommend working with one of our contract CDFAs (Certified Divorce Financial Analysts). This professional will review all financial documents required to be disclosed by both parties. The CDFA will catch anything that looks odd, and may recommend that a forensic accountant be engaged to do a thorough review of transaction records to ensure all financial issues are properly addressed.

Do you offer a safe space to communicate to my spouse my desire to explore divorce?

A "Clarity Session" is a special opportunity to meet (as a couple or individually) with a Conscious Family™ attorney/mediator, at a reduced rate. This session can be a facilitated dialogue with expert guidance and information at hand as needed. Couples seeking to avoid separation can explore the possibility of Relationship Mediation.

Please note: a Clarity Session is informational only, and is not mediation. Couples who are clear that they need legal mediation should schedule a mediation consultation.